The ten commandments of dating

The dilemma is how can you tell if you are being wise and prudent or picky and selfish?We therefore thought it might be helpful to suggest commandments for dating, and this chapter is our attempt to distill some of the concepts we have developed about relationships into useful guidelines.

The 10 Commandments of Dating Student Edition provides you with ten time-tested relationship laws that protect you from the pitfalls of modern dating and will help you practice good relationship habits for the future.

This book gives you practical, no-nonsense advice on how to build positive relationships with the opposite sex.

It doesn't matter if you have "He's the one" looping through your psyche every 30 seconds and a wedding date almost set-the man you are seeing is a mere mortal.

Second, get super clear on your mission and your purpose on earth.

(I do realize that this doesn’t apply to all men, and I’ve excluded several I know personally from this list.). And we’re viewing the dick pic we get sent on first acquaintance with an eye roll (or a chuckle, depending) before deleting and blocking that number. And most of you are still sitting up in your hospital bed tapping away at your phone, on social media, chatting with your friends.

That this generation of men just don’t measure up to a previous standard. Even as mothers, we’re used to managing the multitude of responsibilities that come our way, often single-handedly. Show that you put some effort into the evening as well. I will never, ever understand why men I don’t know actually expect me to volunteer if I’m going to sleep with them or not. I’m not going to perpetuate that particular double standard. It’s great to be called attractive, but I can’t recall when I was last so insulted at an attempt at a compliment! Say whatever it is you’re feeling, which I know is counter-intuitive to how men are socialized and to a dishonest dating culture. Speaking from the receiving end of that treatment, it is beyond painful. Maybe you’re the nice guy (and I don’t mean that as the insult people often take it for these days) that makes us glad we stayed in the dating game. Because in the end, we can all do with a little more honesty out there and just a little more consideration for each other.

Then you're not really looking for someone to share life with, but someone to suck life from-and that, by definition, makes you a parasite. Right) to learn this before launching off down the aisle. Right falls under this category, you may want to step back and reevaluate your heart. We could say, then, that a false god (or idol) is going to be any form of false community or false relationship that somehow numbs our pain of being alone without changing the fact that we are. It's not a real relationship at all, but it temporarily feels good and numbs their pain of being alone, even though they are exactly that, utterly alone. We can feel important and loved if we appear beautiful and are admired-even if it's by strangers and even if we are emotionally isolated and autonomous. We eat to feel calm and safe-not because we are, but because it numbs our emotions. Love focuses on the other person's well-being and draws us toward more love and ultimately God Himself. Addiction-the worship of false gods and the practice of false community-makes us feel needy, insecure, and desperate. The good news is that about 80 percent of the trip back to healthy is acknowledging the problem. God can lead you out of any mess you're in if you choose to get on the same page as reality. Ephesians 5 spells out how the man is to be the leader in the marital relationship. Now, this doesn't mean that he barks orders and you do dishes; it simply means that in a deeply spiritual, emotional, and physical way, he is the pursuer, the initiator, and the protector. If you get married by being the pursuer, the initiator, and the wannabe protector of your man, you will start the whole thing out on the wrong foot. Most marital issues I faced as a pastoral counselor had their roots in how the relationship got off the ground. Rest assured that if you've found a guy who's willing to play the submissive damsel role, it's probably not a good thing.

Third, when you go on that first-or fifty-third-date, ask yourself what you have to offer the Adam sitting beside you on that chairlift. Things we can't live without are often things we are using to feel good about ourselves. Maybe it's time to search out your motives and uncover what drives your dating choices. So now ask yourself: "Am I seeking to have an honest, accepting relationship with another fumbling human being? If you are in an addictive relationship, chances are that you know it's not a good thing but you're scared to death of being without your fix because the pain of being alone is just too much. So please, please, please, don't flake out on this one. You both deserve nothing but the real thing-that's God's Word, not mine.3. Looking back from their present crisis, many guys referred to feeling roped into the deal in the first place, even hoodwinked, and now controlled."But my boyfriend loves to be led about! There's a really good chance that the brother has issues, maybe a domineering mother, too.

isn't more relationship advice; it's relationship common sense.

If people keep the ten commandments of dating, their relationships will run more smoothly, they will be protected from the pain of contemporary dating pitfalls, and they'll be on their way to building living, lasting relationships.

Commandment #2: Assess Your Ability to Solve Problems Together We believe this to be the single most important quality that a successful relationship must have.