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Our first event attracted fifty people to a pizzeria in Berkeley.

The second event was attended by ninety people, and we completely stuffed the pizzeria, including their banquet room.

We are looking for a larger venue for the third round, which has not been scheduled.

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Burning through the atmosphere at 45,000 mph, the asteroid’s leading edge hit the Gulf of Mexico while its other end was still higher than a cruising 747. A blast of air surged at speeds exceeding 600 mph, bringing hurricane-force winds to what is now North America. Within the hour, waves hundreds of feet high pounded Texas and Florida.

It excavated a hole nearly 20 miles deep, ripping fault lines down to Earth’s mantle. The open hole left behind by the asteroid quickly filled back in as material rebounded from the depths, building a great ring of peaks around the crater’s center. A debris plume erupted above Earth’s atmosphere and rained back down around the globe, creating regional infernos.

This writeup started as a report on a poly speed dating event I have been helping to organize, and turned into a meditation on holding innovative poly events.

If you want to skip the somewhat lengthy event report, head down to the Speed Dating and Poly Organizing section.

To date, we have held two poly speed dating events in Berkeley.

They have been raucous and fun, a whirlwind carnival of romance and rejection.

All of this adds up to one thing for me: Creating opportunities for chance and serendipity is more likely to result in a good night of fun than trying to control the situation ever will. Find out how they’re phrasing things, what the patterns are, and how it works. I recommend ignoring anyone who doesn’t sound like they’re paying attention, but it’s really up to you. This may be a small percentage of your total responses. Then pick a few times that you’ll check in with your friend (like while you’re still bar with your date, and then again by midnight).

Or, to put it more simply: OKCupid gets me data; Craigslist gets me laid. The same way you land a good job: by becoming the one who is desired, rather than the one doing the desiring. Tell the person you’re meeting that you’ve set up this plan with a friend, and then check in with your friend when you agreed to do so. If it works out well for you, thank your partner the next morning with a sweet email (and if you genuinely hope to see them again sometime, this is a good time to mention it).

I’m at the PNWA (Pacific Northwest Writing Association) Conference this week.

This event is like Gay Pride for writers–so a lot fewer speedos, but everyone is stoked about their alternative lifestyle of colorful characters.

It results in far too much self-edited performance, preconceptions, and assumptions. Just make sure you put it in the right section (perhaps Casual Encounters: w4m? Use an email address that isn’t associated with your real name (go make a new one if you have to). Go do something productive for twenty minutes, like make dinner. Read between the lines a bit and notice how they’re approaching you.